Jennifer Love Hewitt doesn’t get why she’s still single

Jennifer Love Hewitt - Maxim Magazine

Sure, Jennifer Love Hewitt may be insanely hot with a nice pair of boobs, but for some reason, she’s still single! And by “some reason”, I mean “she has no idea how men actually work”, as exemplified by her having three engagement rings already picked out for potential suitors. I’m not even straight, and my balls still receded squealing back up into my body. Anyway, here she is talking to Maxim about how she’s still vajazzling, and doesn’t understand how this could in anyway correlate to her forever single status:

You’re a big proponent of “vagazzaling.” Can you explain what that is?
Vagazzaling is where you stick Swarovski crystals on the female area to add a little glitz and glamour. I actually named it that because it’s like BeDazzling for your hoo-ha.

Well, it’s a very descriptive term.
The fun part of being a girl is that there are little beauty things you can do to make yourself feel special. I can walk around all day and think, Nobody has any idea that I have a sparkly secret in my pants right now. It kind of took off after I wrote about it in my book, and now I have strangers coming up to me all the time like, “Oh, my God, I’m vagazzaled right now. Want to see?” I’m like, “No, I don’t, but congratulations.”

Do you still do it?
I do. I was vagazzaled for my Maxim shoot.

Now that you’re single, you must get hit on a ton.
It might sound so stupid, but guys do not hit on me. I’m not really sure why, but it’s very rare that a guy will ever come up to me and be like, “I’m going to lay down my game right now, and you’re going to like it.”

Ummm … sweetums? I think part of the fact that your single might be because they’re afraid they’re going to catch some sort of very sparkly venereal disease. Oh, and also the fact that you act like a love-struck sixteen-year-old girl all the time, which once again: men do not like this. No one wants to date someone with the emotional maturity of a teenager, whether that’s emotionally stunted man who plays video games all day or a woman who thinks hot gluing things to her vagina is a good idea.

Jennifer Love Hewitt - Maxim Magazine

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.