Joe Jonas and Ashley Greene are over!

Joe Jonas

So the Joe Jonas, who I think is the Jonas brother who doesn’t look like either a twelve-year-old girl or Frankenstein with a brillo pad glued to the top of his head, has apparently broken up with Ashley Greene, the chick from Twilight who isn’t Kristen Stewart and who wasn’t nominated for an Oscar for Up In The Air. So basically, two very pretty nobodies broke up and now maybe you can sleep with one of them. Or both, if you happen to swing both ways.

Joe Jonas, the middle, lead-singing third of the Jonas Brothers, and Twilight star girlfriend, Ashley Greene, have broken up, according to the NY Post’s Page Six. It was a matter of scheduling that caused the tween star couple to fade apart, the paper said, especially ironic given Jonas’ cover story in Details that was released just a day ago. “I think what works about it is she really puts my feelings first. She understands my busy schedule. She’ll fly out to my shows—she’s been to places in South America that I can’t even pronounce,” Jonas told the magazine. SOURCE

This just be me reading too far into things, but I firmly believe this has something to do with the those fucking purity rings the Jonas Brothers insist on wearing. Seriously, the only thing that makes relationships even remotely tolerable is the sex, although to be fair, unless Ashley happens to be packing some man sausage down there, Joe probably wouldn’t even know what to do down there.

Joe Jonas

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.