time to make fun of katy perry’s crappy new video!

Did you guys know that part of my contract with Popbytes is that I am legally obligated to make fun of anything and everything that Katy Perry does? Which, admittedly, isn’t exactly all that hard. Making fun of Katy is like fishing with dynamite. In a barrel. And all the fish wear stupid clothes and kiss other girl fish for attention and bang unfunny British comedians.

Anyway, Katy released the video for her new single, Teenage Dream, and it seriously makes you wonder what exactly Ms. Perry did as a teenager. I somehow doubt that her crazy-ass fundamentalist parents would approve of her banging guys and running around without a shirt. Unless she spoke in tongues the entire time. See? Jesus wants her to be a slut! Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition … and the Valtrex!

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.