Kim Kardashian’s wedding was a hoax?

Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries

Okay, huge shocker here, but it turns out that Kim Kardashian‘s wedding to Kris Humphries may have been … a complete fake! DUN DUN DUN! *Thunder clap* Yeah, I know. Who would have thought that the wedding between the famewhore who does nothing and the random athlete she only knew for a couple months that they filmed and distributed for a total profit of something like $18 Million was all just a scam meant to squeeze money out of the dumbest members of society? Oh wait … RadarOnline reports:

“It was pretty much an arranged marriage right from the start,” one source, close to the Keeping Up With The Kardashians production, tells RadarOnline. “Kim was looking for a husband and Kris was selected for her, amongst others. She wasn’t really into him but she hoped she would be able to develop some feelings, but it never happened. She was never particularly attracted to him, and by all accounts absolutely hated sleeping with him or even having to make out with him.

“The whole wedding was a total hoax and a publicity stunt. It was great for ratings and it was an amazing money maker. That’s it though, period. Kris turned out to not be as malleable as everyone hoped he would be, he was pictured out partying with other girls, Kim really couldn’t care less for him, she decided to end it.”

“Part of it was publicity, she knew they were going to make a lot of money from her wedding. It made them millions,” Jaxson told “I do think she fell in love but once she got to know him and being married she realized he wasn’t her match.

“It was bad for business, it wasn’t good for Kim’s image to be married, and I think she realized that pretty quickly. Kris just wanted a wife, he didn’t care about the rest of the stuff. At one point he almost backed out and didn’t walk down the aisle but there was so much money involved, it was too late.

“Everything is business for Kim now, she’s lost the sense of quality of life. She doesn’t want to commit the time to a relationship even though she wants one. The breakup started two weeks ago because she didn’t want to be in Minnesota, and she didn’t want to make New York her home. She just bought a $5 million house in LA about 1 1/2 years ago, she’s going to be staying there now.

“I do think it was a genuine relationship, it wasn’t a genuine marriage though. It was all orchestrated for TV, it was all for show. It was just too much.”

And oh look, it turns out the divorce might be fake too because Kim Kardashian is goddamn foul.

“It wouldn’t surprise me, in the slightest, if Kim and Kris managed to ‘reunite’ and the divorce filing gets brushed aside as they go to counseling and couples therapy. Basically, Kim will do anything and everything for the maximum amount of attention and TV time.”

Oh the hell with this. STAY DIVORCED. Look, you faked a wedding for attention. Awesome. Good for you. That doesn’t make you a business tycoon, it just makes you shameless and stupid enough to do what most people wouldn’t do. It’s not like if someone went into a bank and robbed it blind, we’d say that they were a financial genius. We’d just look at them and say “Jesus, what a dumbass,” because it doesn’t actually require brains to make money anymore. Just a complete lack of ethics and morals.

Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.