Kris Jenner also wants your attention too!

Kris Jenner

Sensing that her daughter Kim Kardashian is facing tons of negative press, and that all that attention should be going to herself (HOW DARE SHE!) Kris Jenner decided that the time is right to promote her new memoir Kris Jenner … and All Things Kardashian by capitalizing on the Nicole Brown Simpson / Ronald Goldman murder and how she could have stopped it all herself. See? All Kardashians are terrible people! Not just a select few! RadarOnline reports:

Nicole called her early on June 12th, Kris writes. “Nicole said, “Can you get over here…? I need to talk to you. It’s really important’.” Busy with her own children, Kris asked if they could put it off until the next day. But Nicole was persistent. “‘That’s okay, can you meet me tomorrow for lunch? I really have to talk to you about something really, really important’.” Says Kris, “It would be the last time I would ever speak to Nicole.” The next morning, Kris was plunged into shock and trauma as she woke to the news that her close friend had been stabbed to death. “I instinctively knew that in some way O.J. had something to do with her death. I truly couldn’t believe she had been so betrayed by the person who she had once loved most. That O.J. would be so destructive and selfish and jealous that he would do that to her was just mind-blowing to me. All these thoughts were running through my mind: This can’t be true.”

So basically, one of the biggest crimes in the past couple decades all hinged on Kris making a minor decision? Why do I feel like Kris thinks this way about everything? “Hmmm … should I go do brunch in WeHo, thereby curing AIDS, or should I just order in and create peace in the Middle East? It’s hard being an all-knowing, all-powerful deity. Someone go plant a tree in the garden that produces a metaphor for the knowledge of good and evil and how it effects a person’s freedom from sin!”

Kris Jenner

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.