Kris Jenner wants a divorce too!

Kris and Bruce Jenner

After seeing how much attention Kim Kardashian got for her big fake divorce, Kris Jenner decided that the only way to attain the attention she needs to keep her beauty– By which I mean “she looks like the corpse of a prostitute drowned in a bath tub” –is to divorce her husband, the lesbian formerly known as Bruce Jenner. Of course, she’s denying the whole thing, but this is Kris we’re talking about, so chances are she’s already trying to find out how much it’ll cost to have O.J. Simpson murder him. “I smell another book deal! Cha-ching!” Gossip Cop reports:

The Enquirer claims, “They’ve been battling over everything from money to how to raise their offspring,” and even quotes a so-called “source” as saying, “Bruce is tired of Kris making work her priority instead of family, and Kris can’t stand Bruce spending time and money on his expensive hobbies, like golf and motorcycle riding.” This same supposed insider adds that the Kardashian matriarch has “demeaned her sports hero husband by putting him on an allowance.”


However, that’s nothing compared to the blowout fight they had over Kim‘s divorce from Kris Humphries, states the tab. The Jenners are supposedly “taking sides” in the couple’s divorce, with Bruce supporting Humphries and Kris backing up her daughter. “Bruce blames Kris for driving Humphries away,” says another alleged “source,” who adds, “Kris can’t stand the basketball player and fully supports Kim going ahead with the divorce.”

Kris and Bruce are trying to tell everyone that it’s all just a rumor and that they’re happily married, but who are we kidding: Bruce’s eyes contain more despair, grief, and anger at the world over what his life has become than Kate Gosselin’s uterus. Nowadays, the only way Bruce can feel anything is if he greases the top stair of his home and watches one of his family members fall down a flight of stairs.

Kris and Bruce Jenner

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.