Because Lindsay Lohan thinks the court system works under the logic of an eight-year-old, she decided that the best way to handle her community service at the LA county morgue was by bribing them with cupcakes. No, seriously. Of course, she denies ordering the cupcakes, but let’s face it: she’s pretty much the only person stupid enough to order three dozen cupcakes as a ploy to make nice with the place where dead people are cut up into pieces. TMZ reports:
The L.A. County Coroner just turned away a dude who was delivering 36 fancy cupcakes to Lindsay Lohan and 35 of her closest friends at the morgue. We found out about it and called Assistant Chief Coroner Ed Winter to inquire, and he said, “WHAT!” — and then went to the front door and turned the delivery guy away. Winter told TMZ, “It’s unacceptable. We’re not here to accept food,” adding there are not 36 people in Lindsay’s program, so some of the cupcakes were apparently earmarked for the Coroner’s staff. We found out the order was placed this morning at the fancy, Magnolia Bakery by someone Lindsay knows. The bakery owner would not tell TMZ whether the order was placed at Lindsay’s behest, but Winter told TMZ he spoke with Lindsay and she said she had nothing to do with the order.
You can tell this guy is totally fed up with Lindsay’s antics because he’s willing to turn away cupcakes from Magnolia Bakery. Seriously, have you ever tried those things? Those things are like substance dependency manifested into tiny cake form. They really are that good. To turn that shit away requires a level of “screw-this-shit” well beyond anything I have ever seen. My point is, LiLo is very, very delusional and screwed. What’s up next for delivery? Popcorn, cotton candy and slurpees?
UPDATE Lindsay Lohan really did order the cupcakes! Via TMZ:
Lindsay Lohan says she is the mystery buyer who ordered 36 gourmet cupcakes and burgers to the L.A. County Morgue today … insisting the gesture was simply to say, “I’m sorry.” Lohan’s rep tells TMZ, “Lindsay asked her assistant to pick up lunches from the In-And-Out in Huntington Park around 10:30 a.m. Around 11:00 a.m., her assistant returned with the lunches and brought them into the administrative trailer and set the food on a table for the volunteers to eat on their break.” The rep added, “Reports that Lindsay had lunches brought in for the other volunteers are completely accurate despite any claims to the contrary. Additionally, Lindsay ordered cupcakes for the staff and volunteers. When they were delivered, morgue supervisors would not let them into the building. It is unfortunate that Lindsay’s well-intentioned actions were not taken in the spirit in which she intended; to say she was sorry for yesterday’s misunderstanding.”