Lindsay Lohan denies any wrongdoing!

Lindsay Lohan

Despite the fact that this one has all the classic elements of a Lindsay Lohan tale — a club, a car, a litigious asshole, Lindsay claiming zero responsibility for her actions — Lindsay is of course denying that she did anything wrong the night of her alleged hit and run, and that she was ever the saintly virgin of pure morals and values. Access Hollywood reports:

“Scrape? This is all a complete lie. I’ve been at community service,” Lohan said in a message posted on her WhoSay page. “Last night, I attempted to wish a friend happy birthday, which I didn’t even get to do because I was freaked out by all of the paparazzi. These false accusations are absurd.” Lohan’s rep also spoke out against the allegations. “Lindsay stopped by the club to drop in on a friend’s birthday party. When she arrived, there were so many photographers there that she decided to leave and never even got out of the car,” the rep said in a statement released to Access Hollywood on Wednesday. “At no point was there ever any indication that her car hit anyone or anything. We are confident this matter will be cleared up in the next few days.”

All right, we have been presented with two opposing theories: the first, that Lindsay is a maniacal vehicular manslaughterer, and the other that Lindsay is an angelic victim of circumstance. So of course, like most matters in life, the fact of the matter is that the truth most likely resides somewhere in the middle of this: Lindsay is an idiot who doesn’t seem to understand that the paparazzi will follow her when she goes out clubbing because that’s the price of celebrity, and when confronted with a group of them in front of her car, she freaked out and drove away, and in this time she slightly bumped someone who, after realizing he was just barely touched by Lindsay Lohan’s car, decided to sue. Stop me if I’m getting too close.

Lindsay Lohan

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.