Lindsay Lohan is doing adderall / cocaine / jail again!

Alright, so by now we all know that Lindsay Lohan flunked her last drug test. Well, as it turns out that wasn’t entirely accurate. It’s more like she flunked her last drug TESTS. You know, multiple drug tests. Plural. First, she tested positive for cocaine (d’uh) and now it turns out she also tested positive for Adderall, which is the drug that got her in all this fucker in the first place.

We broke the story … Lindsay failed two drug tests — One for cocaine, and now we know the second was for amphetamines. Our sources would not divulge the nature of the amphetamines, but Adderall — the drug Lindsay was prescribed and hooked on — is an amphetamine. We do not know which test came first — the cocaine or the amphetamine. But we’re told both tests were taken close together. Lindsay failed her cocaine test the week before last. SOURCE

Wait, what? You’re telling me that a massive drug addiction/alcohol dependency/general false sense of entitlement can’t be erased by just 22 days of rehab? Really? Get out of town here. Oh, and now Lindsay has a warrant out for her arrest. Dream big, kiddo!

The move by Judge Elden Fox comes after TMZ’s story … that Lindsay failed two drug tests recently … one showed the presence of cocaine and another showed amphetamines. The probation report — outlining the failed tests — was just filed with the court. SOURCE

Oh goddammit … Again? No! I can’t go back to (posting about Lindsay Lohan going to) jail! I won’t go back! If anyone needs me, I’ll be in Mexico. Make a run for the border, bitches! *Grabs sombrero, $3,000 in pesos and a Mexican cookbook* Does anybody know what the phrase “No In-Calls” is in Spanish?

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.