Lindsay is going to get her life back on track?

Lindsay Lohan

So after yesterday’s awesome verbal smackdown by Judge Stephanie Saunter, train wreck Lindsay Lohan is now telling everyone that she’s seen the light and will now work as hard as she can in order to get her life back on track and avoid partying, drinking and drugs. But of course, this is a lie because it’s a statement involving working and remaining sober and it came out of LiLo’s meth mouth. TMZ reports:

Sources close to Lindsay tell TMZ, she gets why Judge Sautner was pissed — admitting she didn’t follow Sautner’s previous instructions to the T. We’re told Lindsay has internalized Sautner’s admonitions — and is taking the entire experience today as one big warning that she needs to get her act together, stat. As a result, we’re told Lindsay will be visiting the morgue tomorrow to get started on her community service. In fact, Lindsay says she’s so serious about impressing the judge … we’re told she has promised to go to the morgue every day between now and her next hearing on November 2. We’re told Lindsay gets the message — and doesn’t harbor any bad feelings toward Sautner for taking a hard line.

Oh who are we kidding here? Considering that Lindsay plays the victim card like it’s the only card in the deck, she’s probably stewing away at home plotting her revenge, which probably involves her writing “Up yours, cunt” on her middle fingernail. Because Lindsay is mature and subtle like that. And you thought she was just a pretty meth face. Ha ha! Oh you …

UPDATE: Oh, wait, Lindsay was booted from her first day of community service at the LA county morgue after showing up late. Cue Lindsay’s excuse on Twitter:

With all of the stress and pressure from yesterday and today, I’ve never been so happy to go to therapy!!!! Also, I’m sorry for the confusion that I may of caused to those at the Coroner’s office. Won’t happen again, now I know where to go! Thank you for your help.

… 40 minutes to find the ENTRANCE?! Also, gotta love the added “look everyone, I’m going to my court-ordered therapy! Teehee!” she added in there because La Lohan thinks we’re as stupid as she is.

Lindsay Lohan

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.