Shia LaBeouf will cut you!

Shia LaBeouf

Remember a couple days ago, someone opened a can of 100% pure Canadian maple whoop-ass on Shia LaBeouf up in Vancouver because he was being a drunken prick? You know, as opposed to his modus operandi, which is just being a regular prick? You might remember Shea Carter, the guy who helped Shia up and told him to lay low in order to stay out of trouble, guess how Shia thanked him? If you answered “by threatening to murder him with a knife” then CONGRATS! You think like a serial killer. TMZ reports:

TMZ spoke with Shea Carter … the man who restrained Shia after the fight … who tells us he noticed the actor inside the Cinema Public House bar BEFORE the melee. Carter says LaBeouf had been drunkenly swaying into several patrons … including one man who calmly warned Shia, “Hey man, watch out.”

Carter says Shia replied, “Oh yea? Or what? What are you going to do about it?” That’s when the two decided to take things outside … and the guy beat Shia down to the ground. Afterward, Carter — a local hip hop artist and bar regular — tried to stop Shia from getting back inside, but LaBeouf got aggressive, spouting, “Well what if I grabbed my knife on you?”

Carter says he quickly grabbed Shia in an effort to protect himself in case the knife threat was serious. Carter says the actor eventually walked away … so he went back inside the bar. But moments later, Carter says, Shia appeared outside a window and made a throat-slashing gesture at him … before leaving for the night.

I know this may seem shocking to some of you, but you have to remember: Shia grew up on the set of Disney Channel’s Even Stevens, and judging by Demi Lovato, the first think Mickey teaches you is how to quietly dispose of snitches with knives. “Ha ha! Drag them out into a dark alley! Ha ha! Put your hand over his mouth and stab him between the shoulder blades, twisting the knife until he goes limp! Ha ha! Then put your mouth over his and suck out his last breath! Ha ha!” Man that was dark.

Shia LaBeouf

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.