Lindsay Lohan may skip jail and get an ankle bracelet

Lindsay Lohan

Because at this point, Lindsay Lohan could pop a squat and drop a deuce in the middle of a court room and the only thing the judge would do is throw some confetti at her and call her an adorable scamp, LiLo is going to be pleading no contest to her misdemeanor theft and instead of jail time, she may just end up having to wear an ankle bracelet, because that worked out so well the last time she – oh wait no, she got drunk then tried to jimmy the thing off of her. That’s right, I remember now.

Now here’s the twist. TMZ has checked with the L.A. County Sheriff’s Department — which runs the jail where Lindsay must serve her sentence.  We’re told for non-violent, misdemeanor offenses, the Sheriff’s Department routinely allows inmates to serve their time at home, provided they wear an electronic monitoring device. We’re also told the L.A. County Probation Dept. is down with non-violent, misdemeanor offenders serving time at home. Judge Stephanie Sautner has made it clear — Lindsay will be treated just like any other defendant, and people in Lindsay’s shoes simply don’t get put behind bars. SOURCE

So basically, the judge will take one look at Lindsay’s record and say “Hmm, well, it didn’t work last time, but heck, why not try it a second time?” And then I’m guessing the judge will then go back to huffing paint in their car. Actually, I have a suggestion! It’s this new thing called “punishment”, where you teach someone not to do bad things by either taking away some pleasant or giving them something unpleasant. It totally works. I tested it out on lab rats and stuff. I bet no one’s ever thought of that before!

Lindsay Lohan

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.