Lindsay could have bought that necklace!

Lindsay Lohan

Since Lindsay Lohan probably won’t be getting charged with Grand Theft until tomorrow due to a deal she made with the devil (“I can do as much blow and steal as much shit as I want without going to jail and all I have to do is sign over my career? DEAL!”), more details are leaking out about the stolen necklace, including the fact that she could have paid for the damned thing and still had enough left over to buy a nice ring.

Sources connected to the case tell us … Lindsay had around $6,000 in cash with her because she had been eyeing a ring in the store, which was going for $3,400. Lindsay had gone to the store several times previously, debating whether to buy it. Short story … Lindsay had enough money to buy both the ring and the necklace on the day in question. We’ve learned the surveillance video shows Lindsay walking out of the store wearing the necklace, without paying. In the video, the necklace is partially hidden by other jewelry Lindsay is wearing around her neck. SOURCE

All right, so we can rule Lindsay stealing it because she was broke (seriously, where the fuck is this money coming from anyway?), and we can also rule out anyone loaning her anything because, let’s face it, I wouldn’t trust Lindsay with a bag of dog turds. Finally, we can rule out her “forgetting” she was wearing it when she walked out because it took her two damn weeks before she had an underling return it to the cops. Ultimately, that leaves the fact that the bitch stole it, which means she’ll go to jail and HAHAHA! I’m just kidding. Lindsay in jail? Insanity! They’ll probably just give her a kitten or something, which she’ll eventually sell for crack money.

Lindsay Lohan

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.