Lindsay to be under house arrest … at the beach!

Lindsay Lohan

So sometime when we were all just not looking, the California court system apparently just threw the contents of their desks into the air, shouted “fuck it” and ran off to go drink at a bar somewhere, because it turns out Lindsay Lohan‘s big punishment for her theft misdemeanor and violating her parole is … two weeks of house arrest. Yes, huge punishment: make her stay in her beautiful beachside Venice house for two weeks. That’ll show her!

TMZ posted a story yesterday … quoting an L.A. County Sheriff’s official … stating that she may not get early release based on jail overcrowding, and therefore she would likely serve roughly 84 days of the 120 day sentence. But now we’re told … the Sheriff’s position is that Lindsay CAN get early release … short story — around 14 days will do it. So Wednesday, after Lindsay pleads no contest to misdemeanor theft, it’s likely Lindsay will end up with electronic monitoring at home, and she’s at the beach for cryin’ out loud. SOURCE

You’re kidding, right? LiLo’s punishment is literally a two-week stay at the beach. That is not a punishment, that’s a fucking vacation. People literally pay out the ass just to spend a week in a crowded beach resort, and Lindsay gets a house all to herself for two weeks because she stole a necklace? Fuck me sideways. If ya’ll would excuse me for a second, I have to go rob a bank. God knows I could use a trip to Cabo.

Lindsay Lohan

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.