Because Hollywood is this big land of moral subjectivity where doing bad things is bad unless you can sell something in which case we all need to forgive you, Lindsay Lohan has reportedly won the role of Hollywood legend Elizabeth Taylor in a new Lifetime Original Movie (once again: what a comeback) but only with the caveat that she stay on the right side of the law. Or, failing that since this is LiLo we’re talking about, if Lindsay can just shuffle her shoes and look all sad when they arrest her. Awwwww, that little freckled scamp, we just can’t stay mad at her! Access Hollywood reports:
Lindsay Lohan has more than just her upcoming hosting gig on Saturday Night Live to celebrate – she’s scored the role of Elizabeth Taylor in the Lifetime TV movie, Liz and Dick, a source tells Access Hollywood’s Billy Bush. But, there is one legal-related caveat: Lindsay needs to stay on the right side of court. According to the source, if Lohan continues to stick to the judge’s orders, as she has been doing, she will be playing the Cleopatra beauty in the Lifetime made-for-TV film about the late actress.
Mind you, this is Lindsay we’re talking about, who in the time it takes for me to type this out, can drink through a jug of moonshine, light her fart on fire, then run her car through the front door of an orphanage. She practically has her own bed set up in the California court. “Morning, judge! How are the kids? Hey, has anyone seen my box of Lucky Charms? I swear to God, if the bailiff ate all the marshmallows out of the box again, I will shit right here on the floor … oh, sorry, go on with your rape trial. Just pretend I’m not here.”