Mariah Yeater wanted her Bieber money out of court!

Mariah Yeater

I didn’t know you could get a doctorate in tackling famewhores, but apparently Dr. Drew Pinsky has one, because during an appearance on his show this week, Mariah Yeater‘s lawyer discussed how they originally wanted to squeeze the money out of Justin Bieber out of court, except now they’re all heading to court and you can literally hear Mariah shitting herself in the distance. RadarOnline reports:

Yeater’s team hoped to settle the case “outside of court,” said Jeffery Leving, a lawyer known for his work as an activist for father’s rights in divorce and custody cases. Leving added he wants a “carefully supervised” DNA test to establish paternity. The wealthy shouldn’t get away with bullying a single mother, Leving said, adding he wants a “carefully supervised” DNA test to establish paternity. “Justice is not a luxury for the rich,” he said, noting Yeater’s basically “a child herself “ at just 20. “She probably doesn’t even know what to right now, aside from caring for her child,” he said.

So basically, the bitch figured she would just quietly milk the money out of him with a fake baby story after she tried to do the same thing with, like, three other derped white trash boys she banged/pretended to bang. Except she never really took into consideration that Justin is rich and has lawyers that can and will literally sue the pants off of you. They will make it illegal for you to wear pants. That’s what rich people lawyers can do (I never passed the Bar. Can you tell?)

Mariah Yeater

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Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.