Matthew Vaughn might be January Jones’ baby daddy!

Matthew Vaughn and January Jones

… Except maybe not. Who the hell knows at this point? Anyway, rumors are going around saying that director Matthew Vaughn and January Jones had a bit of a weird friendship on set (read: they were screwing) and then Vaughn skipped out on the New York premiere of X-Men: The First Class because of a case of laryngitis. Which is code for “I impregnated that horrid blonde bitch despite the fact that I’m married (to supermodel Claudia Schiffer) and holy crap I just ruined my entire life”.

Also healthy was Vaughn’s time spent with Jones on set, say our X-Men insiders. Multiple sources from the set insist Jones and Vaughn were “very close” throughout shooting, as we have stated. To which the Schiffer/Vaughn spokeswoman replied: “Matthew had a very good working relationship with all the actors during the making of this film.” SOURCE

More than anything, I’m just surprised that someone, anyone, would actually be willing to stick anything in January Jones. Seriously, I can only imagine sex with Jones would be like sticking your divining rod into a snow cone. And then the snow cone decides to keep the baby because the snow cone is vindictive. The lesson here is if you’re going to fuck a bitchy snow cone, wear a freaking condom.

Matthew Vaughn and January Jones

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.