Well, at least one Lohan’s in jail …

Michael Lohan

So as it becomes ever clearer that no matter how hard she screws up, Lindsay Lohan will never go to jail because the California legal system has a serious case of derp-brain, Michael Lohan is picking up the Lohan  jail time slack by being locked up in solitary confinement and making collect calls to Real Housewives. Yup, that just happened. From RadarOnline:

Michael Lohan is locked up in jail in Florida in solitary confinement but RadarOnline has exclusively learned he’s making phone calls – collect! Michael is allowed to make outgoing calls from the Orient Road jail where he is being held in the infirmary and RadarOnline has exclusively obtained a recording of a call he attempted to place to one of his flames, but not Kate Major. Lindsay’s father was actually calling Kim Granatelle, from The Real Housewives of New Jersey, who Michael was spotted smooching with over the summer. She didn’t actually answer the phone and let the call go to her voicemail.

Wait wait wait … is this how we’re going to trick Lindsay into finally going to jail for the amount of time she deserves? By telling her that she can make as many collect calls to her old girlfriends as she wants? Actually, now that I say that out loud, I realize that it’s really not a crazy idea.

Guard: Hey Lindsay, want to call Samantha Ronson?
Lindsay: My little love gargoyle? I WILL DO ANYTHING.
Guard: Here’s a cell phone. But you can only get reception on it when you’re in this … magical cell phone room. That I lock for 30 days.
Lindsay: Ok, thanks whatever, bye.

Michael Lohan

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.