New Couple: Scarlett Johansson and Joseph Gordon-Levitt?

Scarlett Johansson and Joseph Gordon-Levitt

It’s Thursday, which means that Scarlett Johansson has moved on to a new famous person to screw in order to convince everyone that she’s SO over her ex-husband now. Did she mention she’s totally over Ryan Reynolds? Because she’s bigger than him. I mean, he really can’t compare to her NEW man, Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Joseph was in Inception. What was Ryan ever in? The Green Lantern? HA! You know, Ryan is going to look back one day and realize what a good thing he had going. Uh-huh. She’s going to be the one laughing then. Just you wait … just you … Us Weekly reports:

Scarlett Johansson was spotted making out with 50/50 star Joseph Gordon-Levitt in NYC last month. “They were kissing,” an eyewitness tells the new Us Weekly, on stands Friday. “They were very lovey.” It wasn’t the first time Johansson, 26, and Gordon-Levitt, 30, hit the town together. The duo dined at Hundred Acres in NYC’s SoHo area in late July.

See? SEE?! See how much better she is than you, Ryan?! She’s so much fucking happier now that you’ve split! She’s on top of the world, and you are just the … just … *BLOOOOOORG* might have had a few too many … oh God, the room’s spinning … so over you … so … over … you … *passes out in own vomit*

$50 says this is really happening with Scarlett right now.

Scarlett Johansson and Joseph Gordon-Levitt

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.