Nicky Hilton and David Kaztenberg split!

Nicky Hilton and David Katzenberg

I’ve always tolerated Nicky Hilton, mostly because she’s not her sister Paris Hilton and thank heavens because I don’t think we’d need a second Paris, let alone one. Unfortunately, I could be wrong about that because it looks like the slightly less awful half of the Hilton sisters has joined Paris in dumping whoever the hell she had sex with (David Katzenberg) in order to go back to painting the town whatever color herpes is.

“They broke up quietly after four years together. The main reason was that they have been busy with their work schedules, and it has made it difficult to spend time together,” a Page Six source claimed. “Nicky has been back and forth traveling overseas a lot with her business. She has recently been in Asia promoting her jewelry line, and David is starting a new production company. Their schedules never seemed to match.” SOURCE

Well d’uh, of course Nicky dumped her boyfriend. Paris is single now and therefore needs a wing-woman, and you can’t help steer guys towards the lizard-faced witch’s snatch if you’re already in a relationship, now can you? “Oh, you know who would be perfect for you? My sister Paris! I mean yeah, sure, she’ll devour your head after she stabs you through the chest with her thorax and lays a million firey demon eggs in your torso, but she’s really sweet once you get to know her.”

Nicky Hilton and David Katzenberg

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.