Patton Oswalt is auctioning off free ice cream!

So Patton Oswalt, who you might remember as the voice of Ratatouille and for being generally funny and super fucking awesome, is auctioning off his Carvel Black Card for charity, which means that some lucky son of a bitch is gonna be getting 75 years of free ice cream for a pretty decent price.

There are only 75 of the cards in existence — handed out to various celebs in commemoration of Carvel’s 75th birthday — and each cardholder is entitled to scarf down up to $25 in ice cream per week … for the rest of their lives. We’re told Oswalt got Carvel’s approval to transfer ownership of the card to the top bidder — donating all proceeds to the Los Angeles Regional Foodbank. SOURCE

You see this is the difference between a legitimate, talented celebrity like Oswalt and some famewhore like, I dunno, say … Dina Lohan? While Patton would sell 75 years of free ice cream and donate it to charity, Dina would try and make her family live off of ice cream to the point where she would try and convince her children that sprinkles were a food group.

Ali: Mom, I’m not sure how much more ice cream I can eat, I can’t feel my feet anymore.

Dina: ALI, FINISH YOUR COOKIE PUSS OR NO NUTTY THE CHOCOLATE GHOST FOR YOU!

Ali: … You suck as a mother.

About JEREMY FEIST 4970 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.