Please don’t talk about Kim Kardashian’s ass!

Kim Kardashian

Despite the fact that pretty much everything else about her is shallow, useless, annoying, or some combination thereof, Kim Kardashian wants everyone to stop talking about her ass already. You know, the ass that got her famous in the first place?  Yeah, no more joking about that part of her, despite the fact that at this point it’s the only part of her that actually does something aside from constantly shitting out worthless cra – oh wait.

The 30-year-old reality TV star has hit the headlines again for her impressively round rear yet otherwise stick-thin figure leading some to suspect she may have had surgery to boost her bum. Now Kim has hit back. “It’s totally ridiculous,” says Kim. “I’m proud to say that my booty is all mine and I have never had anything done to it like injections. I’m half Armenian so the butt really comes from my dad’s side of the family. I also try to do whatever I can to work out but it’s all real.” SOURCE

Ah what the hell … I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt and say that it’s probably real, because cabooses tend to be made up not so much of diet and exercise so much as they are a product of good genes. It’s the Kardashians’ natural way of attracting athletes so that they may reproduce with them before biting off their balls praying mantis-style and turning them into old lesbians. Just look at Bruce Jenner.

Kim Kardashian

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.