Say hello to the old Courtney Stodden!

Courtney Stodden

Ever since she first inexplicably shot to fame by marrying a fifty-one-year-old character actor, Courtney Stodden has been vocally defending her realness. Oh, I’m sorry, her “rillness”. As in, her “rill” hair, her “rill” lips, her “rill” unmoving forehead, and her “rill” beachball-sized boobs. You know, because all seventeen-year-old girls rilly look like third-degree burnt showgirls. Anyway, turns out that there are actually a shitload of pictures from a couple of years ago where she looks completely different and less, shall we say, top-heavy. Or “boobier”, as is the scientific term. The Huffington Post reports:

A new batch of photos became available today that were taken when Courtney was about 12 or 13, her mother Krista Stodden told Celebuzz. While some of Courtney’s poses in these older photos are still suggestive, there is no denying that she actually looks like a teenager. One of the photos is of Courtney with her older sisters Ashley and Brittany in a hot tub, who their mother says are both married with husbands their own ages.

So what I’m taking away from this is that Courtney ages faster than a Saint Bernard and will soon age herself into dust, and her mother is just pawning off her daughter to the highest bidder at this point because getting married before a person has fully developed their mind, body and sense of self is a great idea that has never ended in divorce, except for literally every single one of them. “All right, our next auction is for my teenager! She’s newly refurbished, just inject her with a little botox now and then and teach her how to spell using back-issues of Penthouse and you’re good to go! Opening bid is $150, do I hear $150?”

Courtney Stodden


About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.