Snooki’s fender bender in Italy … with a cop!

Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi

It’s good to know that even when the Italian government is literally forcing the cast mates to not drink and stay out of trouble, they can still find a way to completely fuck up. If Ronnie‘s beating of The Situation wasn’t enough (on a side note, how is Ronnie not an American hero just for that? You’re doing God’s work, son) it now looks like Snooki has been taken into custody for rear-ending a cop. I mean, with her car. Not like … that! Ewww.

Snooki was driving when she struck the cop car, but sources connected with the production tell TMZ, “Zero alcohol was involved.” We’re told no one was injured. A witness tells TMZ, Snooki smacked into the back of the patrol car, wedging her ride between the car and a highway protection wall. The witness says Deena was in the passenger seat at the time of the crash — and when she tried to exit the car, she had to go through the window … because the door was blocked by the wall. SOURCE

I love how they have to clarify that Snooki wasn’t drunk; she was just stupid! You know, because that makes the whole thing better. “It turns out, the little orange dwarf slut who gave me whiplash wasn’t drunk! Yeah, she’s just naturally that stupid. Man, I am so relieved to hear that, huh?”  Honestly, I’d feel better if she had been drunk. At least then she’d have an excuse for being a huge dumbass.

Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.