Snooki was banned from a wine shop!

Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi

Because nothing bad has ever happened from publicly banning a Jersey Shore star from using your product — unless you count that time Abercrombie & Fitch tried to keep their douchewear off of doucheking Mike ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino. Whoops! — a winery in Jersey City has publicly banned Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi from their shop while she’s there shooting her show. Pfft, like Snooki drinks wine. Anything less than moonshine would be like tap water to her. TMZ reports:

In an unwise financial move, the wine shop next to Snooki’s new Jersey City home wants nothing to do with the little booze guzzlin’ blast in a glass … and even posted a sign on the door to keep her the hell out. We’re told Jwoww ain’t welcome in the store either, so the ladies will have to schlepp their bronzed behinds a little further than next door when they want to binge drink for the cameras of their new reality show. TMZ spoke to the GM at the wine shop … who tells us, “Even if Jwoww shows up at our front door she will not be let in.”

Once again, you’re assuming that Snooki and Jenni ‘JWoww’ Farley are snobby oenophiles who drink nothing but the finest pinot grigio, like those guys from Sideways. “Come JWoww, let us venture forth to the Napa Valley where we will drink, have existential crises, and bang Sandra Oh.”

Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.