Snooki, America’s favorite orange, whorish leprechaun, made her WWE debut last night, where like a laxative-laden brownie, the bitch messed some shit up and was as foul-smelling as humanely possible. Can you believe it took me this long before I finally used my first poo joke? Anyway, our lady of perpetual sluttiness apparently didn’t do a half-bad job. Yeah, who knew the drunken Jersey girl knew how to punch other whores? Go figs.
The Jersey Shore star transformed into 57 inches of pure, unadulterated RAGE — as she attacked the members of the Lay Cool lady tag-team using a ferocious airborne crotch bomb … followed by that typical girl-on-girl hair-pulling, head slamming move. After the dust settled, Snooki was challenged to a three-on-three co-ed brawl at Wrestlemania in April … and she accepted! SOURCE
Bare in mind, I’m the kind of person who watches wrestling with the volume turned all the way down, but … ummm, what’s a crotch bomb? Is that an actual thing in wrestling, or have we finally classified Snooki’s vagina as a weapon of biological warfare? My apologies to Jessica Simpson, but I think Snooklear over here has a more legitimate claim to the title of ‘Napalm Vagina’.