‘Someone’ wants Kim Kardashian’s sex tape off the market!

Kim Kardashian

Remember how when Kim Kardashian got married, all anyone could think about is “Hey, wasn’t that the whore who only got famous because she sold a sex tape where Ray J peed on her?” Well apparently “someone” took notice here, and “someone” is allegedly trying to buy back the rights of Kim’s sex tape from Vivid Video in order to get it off the market for good. And holy shit, if you haven’t figured out who this “someone” is by now, don’t worry, someone will be over shortly to pad all the sharp corners in your house. TMZ reports:

TMZ has learned the mystery buyer has hired a lawyer in Tennessee — who fired off a letter to Vivid honcho Steve Hirsch yesterday which reads, “I was approached by a private party who has asked us about looking into the possibility of acquiring all rights of the Vivid, ‘Kim Kardashian Sex Tape.'” The lawyer adds, “The party we represent does not intend to distribute or broadcast the ‘tape,’ but hopes to completely remove it from the market.”

The buyer also wants to purchase all of the raw, unused footage (sex tape outtakes) that never made it to the DVD. The lawyer never identifies his client — but leaves a giant hint … writing, “We would purchase any other footage you may have control of that involves Ms. Kardashian.” The lawyer NEVER mentions the other person in the tape — Ray J.

Yeah, good luck with that one, mystery person. Hate to break it to you, but as much as I fucking hate her and everything she stands for, a Kim Kardashian sex tape is a HUGE get. You think they’re just going to sell it? Hell, even on the off chance that they do, guess what? That sex tape is probably floating around on the internet in is entirety already. For free. I know it’s not legal, but my point still stands: You will never be able to bury your sex tape. You made your bed Kim, and now you have to sleep in it while Ray J pees on you.

Kim Kardashian

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.