ICYMI, all last week we’ve tackling the Spring 2012 TV season with the ultimate Survival Guide! We’ve already covered Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. Finally, let’s see what to watch, what to DVR, what to stream, what to read about online, and what to ignore on Sunday nights:
NOTE: The second season of Downton Abbey started airing on PBS at 9pm EST on January 8th. But since it’s already aired in the UK, and pretty much anyone who’s anyone in the states has watched on YouTube or illegally downloaded it, I’m leaving it off the list! Deal with it!
WHAT TO WATCH LIVE:
Once Upon a Time Let’s just be honest here: ABC’s Once Upon a Time is a terrible show. Really, it’s awful. Our main protagonist Emma Swan (Jennifer Morrison) is completely unlikable. The kid is annoying as all hell. And no disrespect to Lana Parrilla, but if you want to see a real Evil Queen, check out Madeleine Stowe’s icy Victoria Grayson on Revenge. Still, there’s something there that draws me to Once Upon a Time. I like seeing how all these fairytale characters’ lives have been woven together. Just enough with the slutty, goth Little Red Riding Hood, okay?
The Good Wife I won’t spend more time raving about the quality and complexity of The Good Wife. I’ve already named it the Best in Show for 2011. I think it’s got the best cast (and guest stars) than any drama, network or otherwise. This season has been flawless so far – except that CBS delayed all but one episode last season due to stupid football, therefore effing up my entire viewing schedule. Here’s hoping the rest of the season runs on time.
GCB After launching a hit new primetime soap this season with Revenge, ABC hopes for another juicy guilty pleasure hit in GCB. The show follows former mean girl Amanda Vaughn (Leslie Bibb), as she returns home to Dallas in disgrace after her marriage ends in scandal. Surprise surprise, she’s not given the warmest of welcomes – especially by her mother Gigi (Annie Potts), her former classmate, Carlene Cockburn (Kristin Chenoweth), and the rest of her old clique. Based on the hit book by Kim Gatlin and produced by Darren Star (Sex and the City, Melrose Place, Beverly Hills 90210, etc), GCB (short for Good Christian Bitches) promises a lot of back-stabbing, nastiness, and girls behaving badly. Should be the perfect fit for late Sunday night. Well, until …
Mad Men March 25, 2011. That’s my best guess for when we’ll see the long-awaited premiere of the fifth season of Mad Men. Nothing has been confirmed by AMC just yet, but since Comic Book Men has a six-week run, and we’ve been promised that Mad Men will premiere in March 2012, I think it’s a safe bet. And thank heavens, ‘cause it’s been long enough! The action should pick up not too soon after the season four finale – with Don engaged to that buck-toothed hussie Megan, Joan pregnant with Roger’s baby, and the rest of the crew at Sterling, Draper, Price trying their best to save their fledgling business. Can’t. Fucking. Wait.
Update: I was right! AMC has confirmed March 25th as the premiere date.
WHAT TO DVR:
Mob Wives I completely missed Mob Wives when it first aired on VH1. I had really abandoned the network after they stopped airing seasons of Flavor of Love and Rock of Love. But a sick day marathon of Mob Wives made me realize that VH1 never really stopped making train wreck programming. And my god are there a lot of train wrecks on Mob Wives! These women are appalling, frightening, beasts who fight like rabid dogs and each suffer from delusions of grandeur. It’s amazing. You never really get whether these ladies love their mob past or want to break free from that.
The Celebrity Apprentice You gotta hand it to NBC. They sure know how to cast a good bunch of crazies. This season of The Celebrity Apprentice is no different. On the men’s team, you’ve got Arsenio Hall, Clay Aiken, Adam Carolla, Lou Ferrigno, Penn Jillette, Dee Snider, George Takei, Michael Andretti, and Paul Teutul, Sr. On the women’s team, there’s Cheryl Tiegs, Debbie Gibson, Tia Carrere, Victoria Gotti, Lisa Lampanelli, Dayana Mendoza, Aubrey O’Day, Patricia Velasquez, and Teresa Guidice. If I were a betting man, I’d say Arsenio Hall, Clay Aiken, and Penn Jillette, and Debbie Gibson are all safe bets to go to the finals. But with Trump’s inconsistent firings, it’s pretty difficult to predict what will happen week to week. Either way, it’ll be fun to watch it all go down – especially with funny lady Lisa Lampanelli around.
The Walking Dead We’re two seasons into The Walking Dead, and still we haven’t figured out what the hell caused the damn zombie apocalypse. I’m pretty sure we won’t find out this season, but I would love it if someone would at least address the question at hand. Until then, I’m pretty content with watching people kill zombies left and right.
Comic Book Men AMC’s taking their first stab at an unscripted show with Comic Book Men. The show follows the inner works of Kevin Smith’s comic-shop, and the employees and customers that surround it. Think of it as Miami Ink or American Chopper, but in about nerds. Which, actually sounds great. I’ve never seen a show that tackles the fanboy culture, and I’m excited to see what it’s like. Plus, as Kevin Smith said, “Draper. Meth. Zombies. This show couldn’t be on a better network!” I agree Smith. A great fit.
WHAT TO WATCH ONLINE:
Desperate Housewives When Desperate Housewives first began, the story focused on four friends banded together after their friend committed suicide. Now those four friends have all but turned against one another, and as the second half of the final season of Desperate Housewives begins, one has to hope that Susan Delfino, Lynette Scavo, Bree Van de Kamp, and Gabrielle Solis find it in their hearts to make up.
Shameless Showtime’s Shameless had a hard time comparing to the British series. The story was too similar to the original, yet the characters someone came off less interesting. Still, I watched every episode – and will give season two a shot. Mainly because I have a drinking game where every time Emmy Rossum gets naked, I drink. Play along and let’s get wasted!
House of Lies Showtime is probably hoping the 99% will fall in love with House of Lies. After all, the show follows a bunch of management consultants (Don Cheadle and Kristen Bell, among others) who hustle large corporations. You know, those motherfuckers in the 1%. Topical, but with such drama happening IRL, I’m not necessarily sure the half-hour comedy will give us enough meat to gnaw on.
Luck I’m not a huge fan of horseracing or gambling. But Dustin Hoffman, Nick Nolte, Dennis Farina, Michael Gambon, and Joan Allen? In a show directed by Michael Mann on HBO? Yeah, I my need to give this a chance!
WHAT TO READ ABOUT ONLINE THE NEXT DAY:
The Amazing Race hasn’t been given a premiere date yet, but I imagine when it does you may want to catch the first episode and then keep up with it here and there. The rest of it? Meh.
WHAT TO IGNORE:
I’m super over the Fox ‘Animation Nation’ block, so that’s very much on the back burner. Harry’s Law (with Kathy Bates) is on its third time slot – and probably on its way out to pasture to be shot. Save yourself some time and don’t give it a second of your time.