Spring TV 2012: Your Wednesday night survival guide!

Spring TV 2012: Your Wednesday night survival guide!

TelevisionBytes with NineDaves

Happy hump day, friends! Curious what you should be watching live, DVRing, streaming, and ignoring on television tonight? Well, here’s your Spring TV 2012 Survival Guide (check out Monday, and Tuesday night’s picks if you haven’t already).

Spring TV 2012: Your Wednesday night survival guide!


Survivor Alliances, challenges, tribal councils, immunity idols – it’s been 23 seasons of Survivor, and I’m still totally hooked on the game. Of course, even I can admit the past few seasons have sucked ass. Mainly because the “redemption island” feature and the constant returning players means that no one EVER seems to get voted off the damn island. Still, season twenty-four will probably have its fair share of entertaining moments. Oh, and twists and turns, since this season both tribes will share the same camp. Will they be able to outwit, outlast, and outplay while sleeping side by slide? We’ll just have to tune in and see.

Modern Family The more I watch Modern Family, the more I realize that Modern Family is probably the most formulaic show on TV. The characters are so damn predictable. It’s the same setup and payoff every time. Jay is grumpy, but deep down has a great big heart. Gloria overreacts to everything, but learns to calm down eventually. Phil is always a doofus, and Claire always puts up with him – no matter how much she complains. Mitchell is uptight. Cam is dramatic. Haley’s rebellious. Alex’s a nerd. Luke’s not the brightest bulb. Manny’s too mature for his own good. Same shit, different episode.

Oh, that doesn’t mean I’m not watching. Have you seen Modern Family? It’s hysterical!

Happy Endings I laugh about 70% of the time when watching Happy Endings. The other 30% of the time, I think about how weird it was that Casey Wilson used to be on Saturday Night Live. I mean, imagine if they hadn’t let her go? She would be sucking it up in the background of Gilly skits, all the while hoping someone would pay attention to her. Instead, she’s doing an ah-maz-ing job on Happy Endings, stealing the show amongst a group of outstanding and talented comedians (Eliza Coupe, Zachary Knighton, Adam Pally, Elisha Cuthbert, and Damon Wayans Jr.). It helps that the show is perfectly written – fast-paced and fun, with the right amount of cynicism and the right amount of heart. Be sure to check it out if you haven’t already.

Revenge If you’re not watching Revenge, then you’re not living. It’s just that simple. The juiciest guilty pleasure show on television right now follows Emily VanCamp’s Amanda Clarke as she returns to the world of the Hamptons elite to seek revenge on all the people who fucked up her life as a child. The top target? Madeleine Stowe’s Victoria Grayson – the cold-as-ice HBIC who won’t go down without a fight. Honestly, the shit goes down on this show week after week totally kills me. Just tune in – you won’t regret it.


American Idol I’ve completely given up on American Idol. But I know that many of you out there still tune in to see the good, the bad, and the ugly battle their way through auditions, bad theme weeks, and those awkward group numbers. Randy Jackson, Jennifer Lopez, and Steven Tyler return to the judges’ chairs this year, and Ryan Seacrest will be back hosting as always. But in the world of The Voice and The X Factor, you have to wonder how much longer Idol can hold on?

South Park It’s hard to believe it’s been fifteen years since South Park first premiered. Now entering its 16th season, Comedy Central’s animated hit feel fresher than ever. That’s mainly due to the pitch-perfect writing by Trey Parker, who just may have the most brilliant and twisted mind working in comedy today. I have no idea what lies ahead for this season, but if the last few episodes are any indication, you’re probably going to want to set those DVRs.


Suburgatory Making fun of the suburbs is like making a “Kim Kardashian’s marriage was so short” joke. It’s almost too easy. Yet ABC found a creative and unique perspective on the Stepford-land, making Suburgatorythe biggest surprise of the Fall 2011 season. Sure, when compared to another cynical teen-driven comedy like MTV’s Awkward, Suburgatoryfalls flat. Tessa’s (Jane Levy) “get me out of here” voiceover isn’t nearly as jaded – or funny – as Ashley Rickards’ (Jenna Hamilton). But Surburgatory has a level of heart missing in Awkward. Plus, can we talk about how this is really a teen-driven comedy on primetime television? And on ABC for that matter? For that reason alone, I’d throw support my way to Suburgatory.

Remodeled The CW is trying hard to find another reality TV show hit. But no matter how many series they launch around bad girls, rich girls, and pussycat girls dolls, the truth is, modeling is what seems to work for them. Well, maybe “work” is the wrong word, since winners of America’s Next Top Model rarely get “work” after the show. Regardless – The CW loves judging books by their covers.  And their new show Remodeled is here to do just that. The show follows modeling industry veteran Paul Fisher as he travels the country, working with small-town modeling agencies to empower models to take control of their careers and lead healthier lives. Think of it as Tabatha Takes Over, but with models. Should be fun!


If you want to skip American Idol, a good recap blog with video will probably do. As for the rest of the leftovers, I can’t imagine anyone saying to you, “Hey, did you hear what happened on The Middle last night?”


I’m actually thankful that NBC has grouped Whitney and Are You There, Chelsea? together. That makes it super easy to ignore these painfully unfunny shows. Speaking of things that are painful, One Tree Hill is back for it’s bazillionth season. Seriously guys? Enough already!

About DAVE Q 90 Articles
NineDaves is a part-time blogger, full-time tweeter, and all-around television-addict who spends way too much time thinking about what his Real Housewives’ opening quote will be. He’s so obsessed with TV, he’s basically like that kid from Willy Wonka. Only gayer.