The Dark Knight Rises is now Inception 2: Electric Boogaloo!

The Dark Knight Rises

So Christopher Nolan‘s third Batman movie, The Dark Knight Rises, is set to start filming just as soon as the internet stops masturbating furiously to everything he does (guilty!) and Nolan has thrown us all one more bone: Marion Cotillard has been cast, alongside her other Inception co-stars Tom Brady, Michael Caine, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Morgan Freeman. Also, the movie will take place entirely in one of Leonardo DiCaprio‘s dreams … OR IS IT REALITY? BUM BUM BUM!

Gotham City is about to get a French accent. Already set to star Anne Hathaway as Catwoman and Christian Bale returning as the Caped Crusader, the latest Batman movie, The Dark Knight Rises, is also welcoming a formidable femme fatale: 2008 Oscar winner Marion Cotillard. While it still remains to be seen whether the French star, 35, will play a romantic interest or a rival superhero to Hathaway’s character of Selina Kyle – also known as Catwoman – the addition of Cotillard comes as a surprise, reports Monday’s Le Parisien newspaper. SOURCE

Goddammit do I ever need to watch the fuck out of this movie. But I can’t because it’s still in the future. CRAP! You’re telling me scientists can “snackify drinks” but they can’t create a working time machine that won’t tear apart the fabric of space and time? OR MAKE ROBOT MONKEY BUTLERS?! Science, you have failed me and my plans to open the world’s first time travelling restaurant staffed entirely with cyber-chimps.

The Dark Knight Rises

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.