Who wants to dance with these losers?

It’s official everyone: The cast for the new season of Dancing With The Washed-Up Has-Beens No One Cares About has been announced, and once again, it becomes ever more apparent that ABC really doesn’t understand the definition of the word “stars”. Or, if Kate Gosselin is any indication, “dancing.”

On the roster this year: Bristol Palin (the one who got knocked up), The Situation (the one with four abs), Audrina Patridge (one of the sluts from The Hills), Florence Henderson (Carol Brady), Jennifer Grey (from Dirty Dancing) , Michael Bolton (cheesy singer your parents like), Brandy Norwood (yeah, THAT Brandy), Rick Fox (I think he plays basketball), Kurt Warner ( … football?), David Hasselhoff (yeah, that sounds about right), Kyle Massey ( … yeah, I have no fucking idea who he is either) and rounding out the cast is … Margaret Cho? Seriously?! MARGARET CHO?! Oh come on, what happened? You used to be cool, Margaret Cho. You used to be cool.

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.