Courtney Stodden went to church!

So in case you couldn’t tell from the completely out of place Bible verses littering Courtney Stodden‘s Twitter feed, in between her alliterated child porn missives, Courtney is apparently some sort of Christian. I’m not exactly sure which kind she is, but I’m guessing it’s whichever branch of Christianity says it’s okay to lovelessly ride a 51-year-old cock into infamy. Sooooooo … one that doesn’t exist. Anyway, Courtney decided to pretend like she prayed to something other than money and old penis the other day by going to church wearing a dress that barely covered her tits, because her body is a temple. A crumbling sham of a temple filled with silicone and genital warts. Huffpost Celebrity reports:

Courtney Stodden ended her holiday weekend Sunday with some quality family time spent at church and the mall. The aspiring model and actress, 17, was spotted wearing a little black dress and gold platform high heels as she went to a Los Angeles area church with her husband, Doug Hutchison, 51, and mother, Krista Keller. After the service, the family headed over to do some shopping at The Grove, where it looks like Stodden might have gotten a start on her Christmas purchases — including picking up a little something from Victoria’s Secret.

More than anything, I’m surprised Courtney was able to walk into a church without her screeching vagina causing the tabernacle to burst into flames. Every time Courtney tries to use a completely random Bible verse to defend her decision to validate the lives of pedophiles, God takes a year off of how long before he lets the sun explode. I’m not sure if you know this, but Communion will actually physically run away from Courtney if they smell her Valtrex approaching, the same thing goes for Paris Hilton!

Courtney Stodden

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.