Miley Cyrus is probably a stoner!

Miley Cyrus

Over the weekend, Miley Cyrus celebrated her nineteenth birthday exactly the way you’d expect a nineteen-year-old to party: By surrounding herself with little-people versions of Nicki Minaj, a bunch of drag queens, and then blowing out a cake with Bob Marley’s face on it. Exactly how I celebrated my nineteenth birthday. Anyway, Miley decided then and there to tell everyone that she was a huge pothead, which is kinda obvious and not even that big a deal since at this point everyone does it. Except now everyone’s got their panties in a bunch because GOD HELP US if anyone should smoke a non-toxic, non-habit forming substance, and now Miley’s people are trying to say that it was all a joke. TMZ reports:

The rep tells TMZ … Miley was joking about the cake her friends got her for her 19th birthday when she said, “You know you’re a stoner when friends make you a Bob Marley cake. You know you smoke way too much f***in’ weed.” The rep says the Bob Marley cake was an inside joke … Kelly Osbourne has been calling her “Bob Miley” since the infamous salvia incident that TMZ broke last year.

Do people still care if you smoke weed? Really? Just generally, is weed still a huge deal? Honestly, I thought kids sticking vodka-soaked tampons up their assholes was the new fake craze of the day to convince old people that teenagers are Godless heathens hopped up on HPV vaccines trying to murder them. All I’m saying is, I think we as a society have moved past weed as a pretend problem to distract us from bigger issues.

Miley Cyrus

About JEREMY FEIST 4970 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.