Dr. Drew investigated Courtney Stodden’s boobs!

I’m not sure how much of a draw seventeen-year-old fake boobs are, but someone on Dr. Drew Pinsky‘s new show must think they’re ratings magnets or something because Us Weekly reports that the good famewhoring doctor decided to invite Courtney Stodden and her creepy plastic-pedo husband Doug Hutchison onto the show so that Dr. Drew could touch her big fake child jugs and get an ultrasound of them. You know, just in case you were wondering what was in a teenager’s breasts.

“A knife has never touched this body,” Stodden confirms in a preview clip from Monday’s show. While the results of Stodden’s ultrasound won’t be revealed until the episode airs, Lifechangers doctor John Diaz admits he has his doubts about Stodden’s bod. “Like most people, when I saw the pictures, I did suspect that you had some breast augmentation,” he told the aspiring singer. Diaz is likely referring to a set of high school photos that hit the Web late last month, reportedly taken just 18 months before her controversial wedding. In the shots, Stodden is barely recognizable, wearing minimal makeup and conservative clothing. In an interview with E! News in July, Stodden’s husband Hutchison said “God was [Courtney’s] only plastic surgeon.”

Bitch please. Are you telling me that your breasts just magically became huge between the age of fifteen and sixteen? Those things went from A’s to D’s faster than a Harvard student who got kicked in the head by a mule. I mean, how do you explain a way a pair of breasts that magically became bigger in a short-space of time right before your wedding to a rich, older ma – oh, wait, aborted pregnancy. Problem solved.

Courtney Stodden

Courtney Stodden

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.