Justin Bieber hasn’t denied doing that groupie!

Mariah Yeater and Justin Bieber

While I’m pretty sure “DENY ALL THE THINGS” is like the first lesson of PR Disaster Management 101 — I’m assuming number two is “stock up on shovels and shower curtains” — Justin Bieber seems to have forgotten that valuable lesson. While his lawyers are calling maybe/maybe-not baby mama Mariah Yeater a liar, while Justin is dodging the rumors on Twitter, they kind of forgot the most important part: the part where Justin actually says he never had sex with that groupie. The Mirror reports:

Bieber’s camp has accused Ms. Yeater of lying and said they would “vigorously pursue all available legal remedies”. His spokesman added: “While we haven’t yet seen the lawsuit, it’s sad that someone would fabricate malicious, defamatory and demonstrably false claims.” Ms. Yeater “is pursuing a modest and rightful claim”, lawyers Lance Rogers and Matthew Pare said. “There is credible evidence that Justin Bieber is in fact the father of her baby.” The lawyers also claim that Bieber has not denied he had unprotected sex with Ms. Yeater following the concert.

Oh for… look, I don’t believe that Justin actually impregnated the poor bitch, because underage sex is gross and Justin seems a little too goodie-goodie to be having unprotected sex with his groupies. That being said, if someone accuses you of being their baby daddy, you deny that shit and you stick with your story straight to the fucking grave. You don’t just pussy out like that. You need to outright say you deny that shit, like, yesterday. Say it with me now: “I did not pump that random chick with my baby syrup.” See? Easy. Lock that shit down.

Mariah Yeater and Justin Bieber

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.