Kim Kardashian is too distraught to carry on!

Kim Kardashian

For those of you who pegged “three days” as the amount of time it would take before Kim Kardashian started milking it for free money, then yay you! You just won an imaginary pool! Anyway, after saying in an Australian interview that she wouldn’t let her divorce keep her from her “duties”, Kim has decided the sadness of getting divorced from a guy she felt nothing for after only 72 days has left her so distraught that she can’t do anything useful for society. Which I guess means she feels nothing but sadness 24/7. TMZ reports:

Kim is moaning to friends, The Melbourne Cup appearance — a Thoroughbred horse race — is the first time she’s ever missed work, but she says she just can’t handle it. And, we’re told she’s saying, “I need to take care of me now, and I can’t work for awhile.”  It’s unclear if Kim means that she’s put the brakes on her reality show, or whether she’ll be selective as to what she does and doesn’t do.

So basically, as long as she “feels sad” about her divorce (Ha ha! I’m just kidding. She can’t feel things!), she’ll stop annoying the money out of us? Well hot damn! In that case, we just need to remind her of her divorce at all times. See her at Starbucks? “Your fake marriage failed!” Run into her at the gym? “You got divorced after only 72 days!” Meet her at a club appearance? “So, how you’re fake marriage holding up? HA! Trick question, you broke that off after only a couple months for attention.” Just keep this up and we can be rid of Kim forever! Now we need to figure out how to get rid of the rest of the Kardashians.

Kim Kardashian

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.