Kim Kardashian is a liar!

Kim Kardashian

We can all add “greedy” to the long, long, incredibly long, I mean just RIDICULOUSLY LONG list of reasons why Kim Kardashian is the worst person in pop culture ever, because after only being married for 72 days to Kris Humphries, Kim is refusing to give back the millions of dollars worth of wedding gifts she got for her fake publicity marriage, even though the family of Emily Post, the woman who literally wrote the book on marriage etiquette, states pretty clearly you should probably return them if you can’t even be bothered to stay married for more than a couple months. TMZ reports:

On one side, Emily’s great-granddaughter-in-law Peggy Post — who wrote an article in The New York Times just three months ago, explaining how gifts should be returned if the wedding is canceled, or if the couple “seeks to end the marriage almost immediately (say within a month or two).” Since Kim and Kris just inched past the two month mark … they’re in the clear with Peggy. But on the other side of the etiquette battle is Emily’s great-great-granddaughter, Lizzie Post — who told the New York Daily News, “after just 72 days, the gifts must be returned to the wedding guests.”

Oh, and Kris Jenner wants you to know that she didn’t make any money off the wedding. Unless you count the millions E! paid them, as well as all the corporate sponsors, the scripted dialogue, etc.

Kris Jenner appeared on Today this morning … and said, “It saddens me to think that one of the rumors is that we’ve sold the television rights for millions of dollars, not true. We profited or she profited – absolutely false.” Jenner’s statement follows a stern blog post from Kim — in which she also stated, “There are also reports that I made millions of dollars off of the wedding. These reports are simply not true and it makes me so sad to have to even clarify this.”

Wrong! She actually did make as much as everyone says she did. In fact, here’s the itemized list of how she raked in each and every cent they claim they never made, via the International Business Times:

– The exclusive photo rights were sold to People magazine for $2.5 million.

– Kim got three $20,000 Vera Wang gowns for free ‑ one for the ceremony and two for later in the evening, and $400,000 worth of Perrier Jouet Champagne also gratis.

– Her $15,000, 10-tiered wedding cake with chocolate-chip icing and black and white decorations made by Hansen’s Bakery was comped, too.

– Additionally, the $10,000 worth of invitations by Lehr & Black were free.

– The $3 million in wedding bling — including the couple’s $1 million nuptial bands and Kim’s $2 million engagement ring, all by Lorraine Schwartz — was deeply discounted.

– Even the $50,000 bachelorette party was sponsored, by Tao of Las Vegas.

– The $3 million in wedding jewelry to include the couple’s $1 million nuptial bands and Kim’s $2 million engagement ring, were all by Lorraine Schwartz, and was deeply discounted.

– The $50,000 bachelorette party was sponsored by Tao of Las Vegas.

The post summed up the payments the couple received as:

– $15 million plus profit for four-hour, two-part wedding special on E!

– $2.5 million for exclusive photos with People magazine.

– $300,000 for exclusive engagement announcement with People

– $100,000 for exclusive rights to bridal shower with Britain’s OK! magazine

– $50,000 to have bachelorette party at Tao in Las Vegas

The things they got for free are summed up as:

– $15,000 to $20,000 Hansen’s Bakery wedding cake

– $20,000 Vera Wang wedding dress and fittings

– $40,000 for two more Vera Wang evening dresses

– $400,000 in Perrier Jouet Champagne

– $150,000 in hair and makeup for photo shoots and TV “home video”

– $10,000 in Lehr & Black wedding invitations

What was deeply discounted?

– $2 million 20.5-carat engagement ring and $1 million wedding bands by Lorraine Schwartz

Conclusion: You put on a fake wedding for money and attention, and once again, you’re lying about how you sold out a part of your lives in order to make yourselves rich and famous. All of you can take the express train to the deepest circle of hell for all I care.

Kim Kardashian

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.