One Direction isn’t old enough for Las Vegas

One Direction

If you don’t know who One Direction is … well, join the club. I think they’re like a British version of Justin Bieber, only there are five of them, which means there’s five times the opportunity for young girls to mistake unhealthy childish obsession for real adult love! (But rich people are making money so that makes it okay!) Anyway, One Direction was apparently doing a gig in Vegas, and decided to bro it out with gambling and drinking and not hookers! Except none of them could pass for more than 16, soooooo … C-C-C-COCK BLOCKED! From MTV UK:

A source told the newspaper: “The boys were hoping to go wild in Vegas by boozing and gambling into the early hours. “But security at every casino in town knew who the lads were and threw them out because the legal drinking and gambling age in the US is 21.” The X Factor group were also said to be disappointed that the hotel suite they had planned to stay in wasn’t used in the 2009 flick, which stars Bradley Cooper, after finding out it was shot in Los Angeles. The insider added: “Finding out the hotel suite they had ordered wasn’t the one in The Hangover was also pretty annoying.”

Oh my gosh … you’re kidding me, right? If I sat down for ten straight hours and tried to type out a sentence that I thought would best convey spoiled, divaish, bratty out-of-touchness with reality, I still wouldn’t be able to come up with anything better than “Our hotel wasn’t the one from The Hangover, and that annoys us!” Good God, get a grip girls. And how did they think they could pass for 21 anyway? They look like fetuses. Their album cover looks like an ultrasound of quintuplets. It’s not gonna happen.

One Direction

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.