Ozzy Osbourne doesn’t want to be alive anymore!

So after dissing Justin Bieber on TV, Ozzy Osbourne has decided to put the final period on his own suicide note by saying that Lady Gaga is getting on his nerves. Oh Ozzy … it’s like you’re trying to piss of the two most die-hard groups of celebrity devotees. What next? You’re gonna say that Edward and Jacob are gay for each other?

I do think Lady Gaga should take a break for a little while. She’s getting to be too much, and she doesn’t watch the exposure of her clothes. She’s just too overexposed. She could be the next Madonna if she played her cards right. I like her, but I’m getting a bit sick of her. When I turn on the TV, I see her wearing another lamp shade or whatever. She needs to take a break, I think, for an hour or so. I love her, I think she’s really, really entertaining, but she’s doing a bit too much. Every day it is something else. The specialness of her is gonna get killed if she doesn’t calm it down. Who manages her? Someone should whisper in her ear and say back off for a couple of months — let people gain interest back. Let people want you, you know? SOURCE

The demonic hell cry you just heard in the distance was the sound of millions of little monsters donning Muppet battle gear and sharpening their Swarovski crystal encrusted knives. Somehow, I see this ending with Ozzy being bludgeoned to death with Trapper Keepers … I think. Do kids still use those? God I feel old now. Get off my damn lawn, you kids!

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.