Sarah Jessica Parker wore a silly hat!

Sarah Jessica Parker

Hey, not everything can be about divorces and jailed cokewhores and giant famewhore asses. Sometimes it’s about Sarah Jessica Parker wearing silly hats because she’s pretty much been playing moderately adjusted versions of Carrie Bradshaw for the past thirteen years. The Daily Mail reports:

Wearing a tight-fitted Chanel tweed dress with button detail down the front, the mother-of-three looked chic in a pair of black stilettos – but chose to finish her look with a big statement. The black curved headpiece looked more like a satellite dish than a hat as Parker struggled to see her audience as she took to the stage with a microphone. At one point the Failure To Launch star held her arms up in air – perhaps to show the audience that her fashionable piece of art was fitted firmly on her head.

The first thing that popped into my head when I first saw the damn thing (designed by infamous hat maker Philip Treacy) is that somewhere out there: a giant gay hermit crab is missing his shell and now has to make do with one of Lady Gaga‘s old dresses. “How ever will I live without my giant, flamingly homosexual shell?” he probably asks, before his hunky mermaid boyfriend comes home and tells him that he cheated on him with a seahorse and that he should really get checked out for barnacles (can you tell I’m reaching on this one? Reaching so hard.)

Sarah Jessica Parker

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.