Snooki has never written a check? No way.

So apparently, despite making more money than God in the past year for doing absolutely nothing, Snooki has never written a check or opened a checking account. To be fair, the conversion rate of Slutty Leprechaun Gold to American dollars is terrible right now. Just awful.

According to the documents, obtained by TMZ, one of the big scenes takes place inside of a Jersey bank, when Papa Snooki tries to teach the 23-year-old how to fill out a check book. When Snooki … who’s reportedly banking $30k per ep … finally opens her first checking account — she asks the banker, “Do you have any blinged out checks?” The rundown explains, “She gets a crash course in balancing her checkbook … but adding and subtracting from the ledger proves too much for her.” SOURCE

Which I guess means that Snooki has never written anything at all. I mean sure, you could say that she “wrote” her own book, but you’d be talking craziness. They probably chained a ghostwriter to a Mac Book while Snooki figured out how books work. “Hey, this sammich is full of words and paper! Cuh-razy! Hey, why are you putting that gun in your mouth?”

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.