Justin Bieber has never met Mariah Yeater

Justin Bieber

So after it was revealed yesterday that Justin Bieber never actually formally denied knocking up a groupie, despite the fact that stuff like that should be like the first thing you do when someone says that whatever recently came out of her vagina is yours, Justin finally figured out that the smart thing to do is just announce that he never banged (famewhore) Mariah Yeater. See how easy that is? RadarOnline reports:

“There is a lot of good that comes with celebrity but there’s also a white-hot spotlight,” host Matt Lauer told the Baby singer before recapping Yeater’s claims — first reported in Star magazine and detailed in court papers — that she and Bieber had an unprotected, 30-second sexual encounter in a backstage bathroom at the Staples Center in Los Angeles following an October 2010 show.

“I’d just like to say that basically none of these allegations are true,” Bieber, 17, said. “I’m gonna be a target, but I’m never gonna be a victim.” Bieber said that he doesn’t even spend time backstage at shows, as he goes “right from the stage to my car. “It’s crazy that someone would want to make up some false allegations, but none of it is true — [I’ve] never met the woman!”

I’m still on the fence about whether or not this thing is for real, mostly because if it was I don’t want to be that one moron who totally didn’t see it coming, that being said, thank God he finally figured out that now might be the appropriate time to tell everyone he’s not a dad. I mean yes, I still think he’s a corporate shill whose every public move is carefully choreographed by a team of experts whose sole purpose is to get teenage girls off (man, that just sounded weird …) but still, shit like this does not fly with me.

Justin Bieber

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.