Lindsay Lohan’s vagina will be strategically covered up!

Lindsay Lohan

By now it should be plenty obvious that the only reason Playboy magazine wanted to have Lindsay Lohan as the centerfold in an upcoming issue is because (A) she has no other career to speak of, (B) drug addicts will do anything for money, and (C) vagina. The only reason Playboy wanted LiLo is because she was willing to show everyone, including members of her own family, her vagina aka her firecrotch. So of course, The New York Post is saying that Lindsay’s vagina will no longer be featured in the shoot, and since this is Lindsay, she’s going to pretend she’s Marilyn Monroe (which keep in mind she already did for New York magazine) because any blonde slut can compare themselves to Monroe these days.

“He felt the initial shots looked too much like a Kate Moss-inspired fashion story — Lindsay’s choice — where he wanted more of a classic Hollywood Marilyn Monroe feel,” a source said. This weekend, Lohan was accompanied by lawyers, agents and publicists who, sources said, “gave their two cents about what was considered ‘nude’ and what was not.” Sources said Lohan ended up delivering the Monroe-inspired images Hefner wanted. She’s expected to appear nude, but “strategically covered up” in certain shots. Reps for Lohan and Playboy declined to comment on the shoot, but Playboy confirmed that Lohan will be featured in the January/February issue.

So basically, Lindsay is flashing her vagina again and comparing herself to Marilyn Monroe. Are you shitting me? This is what she does every time she has to cross the street. “Hey cars. *Vagina* Get out of my way, I’m Lindsay Lohan. And also Marilyn Monroe. I am Marilyn Monroe possessing the lifeless, cocaine-overdosed body of Lindsay Lohan. *Vagina* Death to traffic cones!”

Lindsay Lohan

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.